A Clown's Silent Tears on the Desert Sand
by Rain Tenshi
Summary: Quatre dies and Trowa realizes how much he loves Quatre.3x4
1. Ch.1

A clown's silent...p1.htm A Clown's Silent Tears on the Desert Sand   
by: Syira

Disclaimer: First of all, I do not own any of the gundam wing characters, although i wish i do. I just have rights to this fan fiction. Second of all, I have nothing against Quatre and Trowa being a couple. This idea came to me during my math class after i had read a sad and depressing real life story of someone dyeing in the class before, so PLEASE do not write evil reviews about me hating Trowa and Quatre. Nor do i want to read reviews about it being a yaoui, a m/m relationship. This is your warning. IF YOU ARE AGAINST YAOUI, ARE HOMOPHOBIC, OR AGAINST MALE/MALE RELATIONSHIPS, DO NOT READ THIS FANFICT!!!Now that i am done with all this yelling, the summary.

Summary: Quatre dies while fixing HeavyArms while Trowa is doing a show with the circus. As the lose of Quatre sets in, he slowly realises how much he loves Quatre.

A Clown's Silent Tears on the Desert Sand

"And now," announced the ring master, Mr.Bloom. (i believe)."It is my pleasure to present the next act. Trowa Barton on the High Wire of Doom!!!!As you will notice, there is no safety net, so if anything goes wrong, Trowa will have nothing to catch him. Please kids. Do not try something like this at home."

It was a normal performance for Trowa. Nothing too special. They were doing a show for the towns people that day. When his name had been called for the next performance, Trowa started his performance as usual. He entered the center ring, while being followed by a white light, went up the ladder, and stood on a small podium before starting the walk across the thin wire above 200 feet in the air. He stood there for a few seconds before he started the walk across the wire. His sister, Catherine Bloom, was watching from the left wing behind the curtain. (Trowa learns that Catherine is his sister in Endless Waltz but everyone still calls him Trowa Barton.) When Trowa was half way across the wire, he was moving his left foot forward when a strange feeling gripped his soul. It almost felt like death had tried to grab Trowa. It caused Trowa to stop cold but as he did, his foot was still in mid air and slipped. The crowed gasped, as did the other performers and Catherine, but Trowa quickly moved his left foot back onto the wire and continued his walk across the wire. When he finally made it to the other podium, he quietly let out a sigh of relief. ~What happened to me?~ Trowa asked himself. ~What did I feel?~ The crowed was cheering and applauding Trowa as he tried to figure out what had made him stop in fear.   
"And that is the amazing high wire dare devil performer, Trowa.!" The crowed continued to applaud Trowa as he began to climb down the ladder.

"Trowa!!" called Catherine as Trowa had made it backstage and head to his room to get changed. He stopped, but he didn't face Catherine as she ran up to him."That was a great performance, Trowa."

"Thanks Cathy."Trowa replied with his emotionless face.

"What happened to you back their, Trowa?? I've never seen you so..... blank. I could see your eyes were dilated, and your face look frozen in almost fear. What happened?"

"That's what I've been asking myself."

"And."

"I don't know. It felt like death had grabbed a part of me and took it away. Like half of me was gone." They both stood their in silence for a few seconds. "You better get going Cathy, or you'll be late for your performance." Catherine started at her little brother with consern for a few seconds before leaving.

~What happened to you Trowa?~ she asked herself as she left for her performance.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
What happened to Trowa that almost cost him his life??? What for the next chapter to see. 


	2. Ch.2

silenttears2.htm A Clown's Silent Tears on the Desert Sand   
by: Syira   
Disclaimer: First of all, I do not own any of the gundam wing characters, although i wish i do. I just have rights to this fan fiction. Second of all, I have nothing against Quatre and Trowa being a couple. This idea came to me during my math class after i had read a sad and depressing real life story of someone dyeing in the class before, so PLEASE do not write evil reviews about me hating Trowa and Quatre. Nor do i want to read reviews about it being a yaoui, a m/m relationship. This is your warning. IF YOU ARE AGAINST YAOUI, ARE HOMOPHOBIC, OR AGAINST MALE/MALE RELATIONSHIPS, DO NOT READ THIS FANFICT!!!Now that i am done with all this yelling, the summary.Please read and review. Be gentle. This is my first fan fict.

Summary: Trowa, during a performance, had a strange felling over him, slipped and almost died if he hadn't caught himself. Catherine worries for her little brother. What happened to Trowa??????

A Clown's Silent Tears on the Desert Sand

The performance went on as scheduled. Everyone, from the performers to the media, was asking the same question. What happened to Trowa? Some reporters tried to hunt down Trowa, but he was in his room contemplating the same question, however he couldn't seem to figure it out. Just then a knock came at the door.

"Who is it?" he asked.

"Just me,"answered Catherine."There's a phone call for you."

"If it's a reporter, tell them to go away!" he replied sternly.

"It's not a reporter, Trowa. It's a Ms. Ronna Winner."

~Ms. Winner,~ thought Trowa. ~That must be one of Quatre's sisters.~

"Trowa?" asked Catherine.

"Where's the phone?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hello?" said Trowa when he picked up the phone from the "office".

"Is this Trowa Barton I'm speaking to?"

"Yes."

"Can you please come to the Winner Mansion immediately?"

"Why?What happened?"

"I'm sorry. I can't tell you. I've booked a flight for you."

"How long am I needed?"

"Not too long but I suggest you stay for two or three days at the most." Trowa thought for a moment. Trowa could hear a big commotion in the background but nothing that could tell him what had happened.

"When does it leave?"

"In an hour at Port C2. There will be someone there to pick you up when you arrive."Then Ronna hung up the phone. Trowa also then hung up the phone and headed towards his room to pack up for his journey.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Trowa, what are you doing?"asked Catherine as she found Trowa packing his things."Who was that on the phone and what do they want with you??"

"They want me to come to the Winner Mansion immediately. They didn't say why." Trowa said still packing."They've already booked me a flight there and have arranged to pick me up. It'll just be a couple days Cathy and I don't have any performances this week. Besides, maybe I'll find out what happened to me today."

"What happens if you get hurt Trowa?" Trowa had just finished packing so he closed his duffel bag, through it over his shoulder and walked up to Catherine and held her arms.

"I'll be okay. It's not like I'm going on a mission or using HeavyArms. I'm just going to Winner Mansion for a few days. Maybe all I need is a short vacation." He then gave a short his on Catherine's check."It'll be only a few days. I'll be okay." Trowa then headed out of his room and headed torwards the airport.   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
What did ya think???? 


	3. Ch.3

silenttears3.htm A Clown's Silent Tears on the Desert Sand   
by: Syira   
Disclaimer: First of all, I do not own any of the gundam wing characters, although i wish i do. I just have rights to this fan fiction. Second of all, I have nothing against Quatre and Trowa being a couple. This idea came to me during my math class after i had read a sad and depressing real life story of someone dyeing in the class before, so PLEASE do not write evil reviews about me hating Trowa and Quatre. Nor do i want to read reviews about it being a yaoui, a m/m relationship. This is your warning. IF YOU ARE AGAINST YAOUI, ARE HOMOPHOBIC, OR AGAINST MALE/MALE RELATIONSHIPS, DO NOT READ THIS FANFICT!!!Now that i am done with all this yelling, the summary.Please read and review. Be gentle. This is my first fan fict.

Summary: Trowa gets a phone call from Ronna Winner to come to the Winner Mansion but she didn't tell Trowa why. What happened at Winner Mansion??

A Clown's Silent Tears on the Desert Sand

"Thank you Mr. Barton for coming at so short notice."

"It's no problem, but please call me Trowa, Ms...."

"Ronna Winner."It was mid-afternoon when Trowa had just stepped out of the limo in front of the Winner Mansion on Colony 4 and Trowa was greeted by Ronna. Ronna looked about 25 years old, tall, brown hair, blue eyes, and slim. Also in the drive way was a couple police cars and an ambulance, but Trowa didn't seemed to ask why they were there. Winner Mansion was located at the edge of an desert, which the owned but they didn't seem to mind who was on it. The mansion itself looked enormous and seemed gigantic. "Please, follow me, Trowa. I'll take you to your quarters." Ronna then lead Trowa up the huge concrete stairs and into the huge.   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Compared to the outside look of the mansion, it was tremendous!!! Each room was massive, decorative different then the last, but it wasn't long before Ronna showed Trowa his room. It wasn't huge or massive like the other rooms, but it was still pleasingly decorated. It had a twin size bed with black and white sheets with matching pillows, and the bedroom walls were painted a starry night scene. The stars weren't large and massive looking but small and delicate. The countless stars and then there was a huge yet beautiful crescent moon on the ceiling. It was a pale white/yellow colour. The room reminded Trowa of something but what he couldn't remember what it reminded him of. There was also dresser, probably his clothing, that matched the room. Trowa then put his duffel bag on the bed and faced Ronna.

"What were those police cars and ambulance vehicle doing at the front of house when I got here and why am I here?" asked Trowa. Ronna looked hesitated to answer Trowa's question and her face turned pale.

"If you follow me, I'll let the police tell you."

"What do the police...."

"Just follow me."   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
What happened at the Winner Mansion that involves the police and the people from the hospital??? 


	4. Ch.4

silenttears4.htm A Clown's Silent Tears on the Desert Sand   
by: Syira 

Disclaimer: First of all, I do not own any of the gundam wing characters, although i wish i do. I just have rights to this fan fiction. Second of all, I have nothing against Quatre and Trowa being a couple. This idea came to me during my math class after i had read a sad and depressing real life story of someone dyeing in the class before, so PLEASE do not write evil reviews about me hating Trowa and Quatre. Nor do i want to read reviews about it being a yaoui, a m/m relationship. This is your warning. IF YOU ARE AGAINST YAOUI, ARE HOMOPHOBIC, OR AGAINST MALE/MALE RELATIONSHIPS, DO NOT READ THIS FANFICT!!! Now that i am done with all this yelling, the summary. Please read and review. Be gentle. This is my first fan fict. 

Summary: What happened at the Winner Mansion that involves the police and the people from the hospital??? What happened at Winner Mansion?? 

A Clown's Silent Tears on the Desert Sand   


Ronna took Trowa to the living room where the rest of the Winner family and a couple people from the police department and hospital. The Winners seemed to be crying, upset, and unhappy, like someone died. Ronna then took Trowa to one of the detective. 

"Detective, what happened here?" asked Trowa. 

"Well, son, it happened like this. Young Quatre seemed to be working on repairs to a mobile suit of his when he slipped and fell. He died on impact. I believe the mobile suit was called HeavyArms." It was as if Trowa was back on the high wire when he felt the same feeling he had felt. It felt like death because it was death. 

~Why or how did I know and feel when Quatre fell.~ 

"Are you ok son?'' asked the detective. 

"Yeah. I'm fine. I just need to go and lye down." said Trowa emotionless but not the same as he did before, like he want to hide his feelings from everyone including himself. He then headed off to his room. 

When he got to his room, Trowa pushed his bag on to the floor, closed the blinds, and lay down on the bed on top of the sheets and stared at the ceiling. The room was now almost completely dark except for the lamp on the star decorated desk.   
~Why does it feel like I'm only half of who I am? What is this feeling? Could it be that I miss Quatre?~ thought Trowa. ~He was an excellent gundam pilot. He was also the last person you would think to be a gundam pilot. He's so caring, gentle, and innocent, like a child. Not like Heero, Wufi, and myself. Hard, cold, emotionless. We were raised to fight a war, but Quatre was not. He fought for the peace of the colonies. He know he had to fight. For the peace of the colonies and Earth. We fought because we had been raised to avenge the lost of our and others loved ones. It wasn't till Quatre lost his father did I realize how....powerful a gentle soul could be when lost, even if it was for a moment. Even when I had amnesia, Quatre was still a gentle, care, sweet person. Urg!!! Why do I think of this thoughts now, when Quatre is dead?! Could it be that I miss Quatre?~ Trowa thought for a moment. ~Maybe it is because I never had a reason to think of these things. Maybe if I continue to think about Quatre, maybe I could figure out why I miss him.~ Trowa decided to start with what Quatre looked like. He then also decided to close his eyes. ~Let's see. Quatre was a little shorter then me, but not a whole lot. He had dark green eyes and desert sand colored hair. He was paled skin and he had a simile, *snickered softly* that simile, that could bring warmth and joy to any room. Could the reason be that I miss Quatre because I love him?~ 

"Trowaaa," called an echoing voice softly. "Trowaaa." Trowa now found himself standing, no flouting, no hovering, no, both hovering and flouting in dark space, but not outer space. Just a dark space with air. 

"Where, where am I and who's calling me?" asked Trowa. 

"Trowaaa," called the voice again, but this time Trowa knew who was calling him. 

"Quatre!!" Trowa called out. "Where are you?" 

"I am right here Trowa." Trowa turned around and saw Quatre was right behind him. he looked the same as usual, but this time he had a soft glow around him. 

"I thought you were..." 

"I am, Trowa. I am dead." 

"But then why are you here?" 

"Because, Trowa, I wanted to see you one last time." 

"Where are we, Quatre??" 

"In your heart, Trowa." 

"My heart, but..." 

"You wanted to see me. Didn't you Trowa? It's been a month since we've seen each other, Trowa" 

"Was it really a month?" 

"Yes." 

"Quatre, I want..." stuttered Trowa. "I want..I want to tell you something." 

"Hum." Trowa then flouted towards Quatre. "What is it Trowa?" 

~I love you, Quatre. Urg. Why can't I say those those words to his face?~ 

"I love you too, Trowa." Quatre then reached forward and kissed Trowa on the check. ~His kisses are like sweet, ripe, fresh mangoes off a mango tree.~ (Ummmmm. Mangoes. Syira loves mangoes) 

"How, how, how did you know you that..." 

"We're in your heart, Trowa. Nothing can be hidden from your heart." Just then Trowa noticed something else about Quatre's eyes, they sparkled like stars. ~Stars!~ thought Trowa. ~That was what the walls in his room reminded him of. Quatre's eyes!!!~ He then raised Quatre's chin and kissed Quatre on the lips. 

"I love you, little one." said Trowa. He then closed his eyes. 

Knock, knock, knock. 

"Trowa, are you okay?" It was Ronna. Trowa then opened his eyes. He found himself back at Winner Mansion in his room, staring at the ceiling. 

~It was just a dream,~ thought Trowa. ~No. It was real. I think I was connected to Quatre through my heart.~ 

"Trowa. Are you in there?" Trowa had almost forgot about Ronna. 

"Yes. I'm here." 

"Are you ok?" 

"Yeah. I feel a lot better." 

"Good. Are you hungry? Dinner is almost ready." 

"Okay. I'm coming." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

The next morning, was Quatre's funeral. They had decided to bury him in the desert because they all thought of Quatre when they saw the desert. (Hey! Me too! Okay. No more interruptions.) At breakfast, Trowa asked Ronna why they had called him in the first place. 

"Oh. Well, you see. Out of all the gundam pilots, for some strange reason, Quatre like you the best. So we thought it was only natural for you to come, when Quatre died, to his funeral." explained Ronna. 

The funeral ceremony was beautiful, like all funerals. After they had lowered Quatre's sarcophagus, they buried it. Everyone said a couple things about Quatre, everyone except Trowa. Soon after, everyone left for the reception except Trowa. Trowa placed a yellow rose, that he had been holding during the ceremony, on top of Quatre's grave. As he did, three tears ran down his face and onto the soil.   
"Good bye, little one. May we meet again under peaceful circumstances," he said kneeling over the grave.   
"Trowa." It was Ronna.   
"I'm coming." Trowa then got up and went with Ronna to the reception. Quatre's tombstone read:   
"Quatre Robertra Winner   
Fought a war and lived.   
Died young in peace."   
As Trowa and Ronna left Quatre's grave, a mysterious woman appeared beside the grave. All she wore was a black cape.   
"This love shall not die." 

End   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Sooooo. Wach ya think? Loved it? Hate it? Please review my fanfict. The mysterious woman will be explained later, in the SQUEAL!!!! See ya then 

~Syira~ 


End file.
